Planet Iuvare. Planet Iuvare. PLANET IUVARE. I tossed and turned as the black void opened and closed before my eyes like the mouth of a hungry monster. Planet Iuvare… It chanted. Planet Iuvare.  

​

***

​

I awoke with a jolt, gasping for breath, sweat covering me from head to toe. Quickly, I glanced outside the window, remembering where I was. Rubbing my eyes as the tired sun shone, as if it was still tired and wanted to get a few more moments of rest, I sighed and recollected myself. I was tired of having the same nightmare over and over again, and I was tired of Planet Iuvare haunting my mind. I wished it would simply disappear into the void that had tried to swallow me in my dream.

       

Today was Sunday, and I could do whatever I felt like. All I felt like doing was going back to a dreamless sleep, but I was already awake, and there was no way I could sleep now. Not when Planet Iuvare had its wretched hand clasped tight onto my shoulder.

​

I climbed out of bed and got dressed. Without stopping to eat breakfast or even tell anyone I was leaving, I turned the handle of the front door. Greeted by the friendly wave of blowing wind, I yanked my bike from the bike rack and started pedaling towards my friend Aimee Waiyn’s house, Grey Gales. Aimee was a black-haired beauty with long, wavy, raven-black hair that came down to her back. I, on the other hand, looked the opposite of Aimee. I had eyes with a blue-grey gradient and blonde hair that was much shorter than hers.

​

I arrived at Gray Gales and knocked on the door. Her older brother Adrian answered it. “Hey, Elemaine. You here for Aimee?” he asked. I nodded as he opened the door and ushered me in.

 

I’d only gone a couple of steps in Grey Gales before I was greeted by Aimee herself, standing by the stairway. “El, you’ve come!” She exclaimed. I nodded.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Aimee tilted her head sideways and commented, “You're not usually this quiet in the morning. Anything going on?”

 

My voice caught my throat. It was just that nightmare, I thought, frustrated. “Er… erm, yeah. Well, a lot going on, I guess,” I finally answered.

 

Aimee gave me a questioning look, but then decided not to mention it. “What do you think of Planet Iuvare?” Aimee asked.

 

My voice caught even more. I couldn’t speak; I needed to change the subject. I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Erm, how hard was yesterday’s math test, Mi?”

 

Aimee furrowed her brow and replied, “Well, it was okay, I guess,” as if she was wondering why I was acting so strangely.

​

"And now, the deadline for families to enter the drawing for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to go to Planet Iuvare draws nearer and nearer!” Mark Johnson exclaimed jovially. “Time is running out.” I drowned out the sound of our TV. It was basically the same news every day! All that ever happened on the Mark Johnson show was, “Hi! I’m Mark Johnson and welcome to the show! The drawing deadline for the trip to Planet Iuvare is coming nearer and nearer, so you’d better enter now. See you folks later!”

​

Despite how excited my parents, being scientists, and Tinsley, my four year old sister, were about Planet Iuvare, I still refused to talk about it to any extent. But deep down, I knew I would have to at some point. I could tell that they really wanted to be one of the families who would travel to the New Planet, as it was dubbed. I wanted the best for them, but something about Planet Iuvare just… intimidated me. Planet Iuvare was the shadow: masked, but unmasked at the same time. No one knew what it was going to do. It had power over everyone and wouldn’t hesitate to leave a strong impact. I shuddered. A deep pang in my chest told me that this intrusive shadow shouldn’t exist. My world was perfectly fine without it.

 

***

​

Aimee seems to have an intention of entering the drawing for the opportunity to go to Planet Iuvare. She brings it up a lot these days. I thought to myself in a daydream, doodling absently on a scratch piece of paper while my teacher talked about ancient civilizations. Would it really be THAT bad to live there? Maybe I was being too dramatic. You should at least try to give it a chance… a voice drawled in my head. You’re too bitter. Too suspicious of everything. You do know that change is good sometimes, right? I could almost picture the voice shaking its head in disappointment. I guess I was too suspicious, or maybe I was only cautious...

         

I was still in an ocean, floating and sinking at the same time. Uncertainties littered the waters around me. Planet Iuvare was the deepest, darkest part of the ocean, dangerous yet tempting. It isn’t possible to float and sink in a real ocean. I can’t be in two places at once. I thought. But I’m not in a real ocean. I contradicted myself. It only feels like it.

 

***

​

After school, I was chilling with Luke and Aimee at Luke’s house, Norman Hollow. We were doing history homework together. “Hmm… grehhh… Rome?” Luke grunted.

 

I nodded. “Yeah, that was Rome.”

 

Luke sighed and flopped back onto his bed. “Planet Iuvare, Planet Iuvare, Planet Iuvare,” he said out of the blue. “It sounds like something from a fantasy, but it's real. Maybe there we wouldn’t have to take all these tests!” Luke laughed. I smiled. Luke was always smart, but he didn’t always have the best attitude towards boring homework.

​

“Wait ‘till I get to Planet Iuvare,” I said suddenly. I didn’t even know I was going to say that until I did. “I’ll prove to you there are no tests there!”

​

Aimee laughed. “Not if I get there first!” she exclaimed jokingly. Then she paused, and her eyebrows creased. Her expression became solemn, and her sparkling eyes dimmed with worry. “Speaking of Planet Iuvare…” she hesitated. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

​

I jumped up. For reasons I couldn’t explain to myself, I felt a little scared. Would Planet Iuvare take her away? Had she entered the drawing already?

​

“Well, my parents said they were thinking about putting our name in, you know, as a family. The deadline for entering is coming closer. But they won’t do it unless we all agree,” Aimee added quickly. “Adrian says he’s up for it. He needs a change. So if I agree, our name is going in.” Aimee glanced at us, distress strewn across her face. “You guys are okay with me saying yes, right?”

​

“Will you say yes?” I asked curiously. Aimee shrugged nonchalantly. I looked to Luke for help and noticed his ears turning red. Wondering why, I questioned him, “Luke, will you want to go?”

​

“I… I can’t, El,” Luke stuttered. “My… well, my mom is pregnant.”

​

For a moment, there was complete silence in the room. Aimee and I were shocked to have such exciting news come so abruptly.  Then, all at once, we erupted. “Wow! Say congrats to your mom for us!” Aimee and I squealed, almost as if we were one.

 

“Heh. Sure I will,” Luke chuckled, embarrassed at our enthusiasm.

 

***

​

 Some days passed, and my attitude towards Planet Iuvare was different. I was sitting at the dining table, trying to study for an important test I had to take tomorrow. But after a long hour of staring down at my notes, I  gave up and went on the computer to research more about Planet Iuvare. Over the past few days, I’d viewed news articles, blogs, posts, Youtube videos, and about anything else that I could get my hands on for information. The information had shone a new light on Planet Iuvare, and I was ready to give it a chance, yet whenever I thought about the planet, my heart still sunk. I was scared of making the wrong choice, as I knew it would cost me. This still didn’t stop me from brooding over it for hours on end though…

​

 Finally, yawning from the tiredness of researching and studying, I forced myself from my chair and proceeded to get ready to retire for the night. After analyzing lots of new information and listening to one too many points of view, I had built my final opinion about Planet Iuvare. I only hoped it wouldn’t be the wrong one. 

​

A knock sounded on my bedroom door, interrupting my lingering thoughts about the New Planet. I looked up to see Mom and Dad walk into my room. “Elli,” voiced Dad. “Do you have a moment so we can talk to you?”

 

Curious about what on Earth they wanted to talk about in private with me, I answered, “Fire on.” I waited in anticipation for what they had to say.

​

Mom sat on my bed and started, “Elli, we want to talk to you about Planet Iuvare. Specifically, the coming drawing for the trip. Look, I know you haven’t been feeling too enthusiastic about Planet Iuvare. But do you think you have a different view now?”

​

For a moment I said nothing, surprised that they were confronting me about the planet. Then, recollecting the thoughts I’d had earlier, I opened my mouth. “Er… yeah… I’m pretty sure I have a new point of view. I mean, I,” I stopped. What was I saying? Did I actually want to go to Planet Iuvare? My heart leapt up into my throat. What are you doing? A voice screeched in my head. Panicking, I glanced towards my parents. They gave me encouraging looks, prompting me to go on. I took a deep breath and told the screeching voice to go away. I had thought about this long and hard, and I’d come to a conclusion. “Yeah, um, I’ve thought about Planet Iuvare a lot these past few days, and I don’t think it’ll be as bad as I at first thought it would be.” I drifted off, then started again. “Aimee is going to enter with her family, and I don’t want to miss out on anything she could experience. I think it would be a nice way to get out of my comfort zone, and uh… maybe more opportunities would be open to me if we went.” I looked up at Dad, unsure about what I’d just said. But when I met Mom's and Dad’s eyes, I knew I’d said the right thing. Planet Iuvare wasn’t a masked shadow, and it wasn’t threatening to ruin my life. I had only seen it that way. I needed to accept change and see its benefits, rather than being blindly afraid.

​

“So, Elli. You feel up to entering the drawing and seeing what chance we have, right?”

 

I smiled. “Yeah! Of course I do.”

 

Dad nodded.

 

“Got it! I’m sure it’ll be fun. Do you want to come with me to enter ourselves in the drawing tomorrow morning before school? Tinsley has been waiting for this moment forever.”

​

***

​

Dad had finished filling out the entry form, and we were heading to the post office to drop it off. It would be mailed to ESCA. I zipped up my jacket as Dad and Tinsley started walking. Although the snow was already shoveled off the road, there was still ice slicked across it in some areas that we were careful to avoid as we headed up to the doors of the post office. The warmth of the building rushed into my cold body while I watched Dad hand the person at the counter our entry.

​

I couldn’t explain why, but the whole time I was grinning. A lot of weight that had been burdening me for days was finally off my shoulders, and now I just couldn’t wait for the results of the drawing. I was nervous, yes, but I really wanted to go to Planet Iuvare! Who knew I would be this excited? My mind was made up, and there was no turning back. There was no chance of me drowning in the ocean anymore. I had conquered Planet Iuvare; the shadow living in my head was gone at last.

​

​

​